Food peace through radical kindness gives you what you desire.
Being committed to changing your relationship with food takes a different kind of focus with radical kindness.
Radical kindness is holding yourself accountable without judgement. When you look at the situation with neutrality and push yourself when you need to do more and acknowledging your accomplishments when they happen.
You need radical kindness most when…
… you’re tired of solutions that have you running in circles.
… you know what you want, to stop emotional eating, but it happened again.
… you question if you even know what you want.
… you need to adjust your goals to fit with what you want – not what “they” want.
… doubt leads you to question your choices.
While you adjust to this new form of accountability you will have many opportunities to slip back into self-criticism, skepticism and hopelessness about your state.
In fact, you’ll probably have a chance to practice radical kindness many times a day!
The good news is that all of these opportunities will push you to become even more clear and stronger in your resolve to change your relationship with food and your body.
And, as you practice more you’ll develop habits to support the changes you make, and radical kindness makes it all easier.
Radical kindness helps you keep your focus on moving forward.
All of these micro adjustments add up to big changes. Small changes, such as a shift in the words you use, (“I’ll never get this” to “I’m learning a new way”) help you to respond in ways that will keep you on track.
It’s easier to make corrections when you fall back into old habits with small changes and focus. Integrating small changes over time, allows you to adjust bit by bit and more easily integrate them into your way of being with yourself.
This is what makes the process transformational. You are working on your relationship with yourself at the same time as you are also working toward your goals.
Diet related goals are external.
They are about changing the foods you eat to change your body mass.
Conscious Eating goals are internal.
They are about changing your relationship with food and your body so you can freely make choices about many things in life, the focus isn’t just what you eat or how your body looks, it’s about how you relate to yourself from the inside out.
It is an internal and external process of change that rests on a foundation of kindness. The perfect way to stop dieting and make real change that lasts.
Achieving food peace through radical kindness reshapes how you work with yourself, so you know when to push and when to ease up.
You don’t need to look for balance when you have your own internal barometer to guide you. You make adjustments as you develop more internal awareness of your emotional states.
Here are three steps to food peace through radical kindness:
1. Assess what is enough for you.
When I ask people, this question, what is enough, they usually think in terms of minimums. “Don’t take too much” vs. “Take what you think you need, and you can always have more.”
Are you in a place where you have enough, love, money, friendship, work challenges and fulfillment, food you enjoy, movement that feels good?
If you know that there’s more you need in life, the first step is to get specific and identify what it is so you can develop a plan to get it.
2. Use radical kindness to push you to life satisfaction.
Satisfaction isn’t an end point it’s a way of being that is baseline contentment.
Satisfaction in life can only come when how you live your life matches up with your values. Satisfaction is one part of feeling like you’re doing what you need to be doing. You feel good about your life and yourself.
If you feel incomplete, like there’s something that you want or need in your life, use radical kindness to propel you forward.
3. Question what you’re moving toward and make sure you want it.
Is it what you think you want to meet another’s expectations, or it want you know in your heart you want?
Lots of well-meaning people make suggestions, assuming that you’re on the same page. But are you? Just because your friend is on the diet, she might assume that everyone is on the hunt for the perfect way to eat too. Maybe you are, but your way of getting there is very different.
Your commitment to yourself is to figure out your needs. Figure out what nourishes you in mind, body and heart. Radical kindness will keep you in check, so you take very good care of yourself.
Recognize that if your relationship with food isn’t serving you in the way you had hoped, it can change at any time in your life.
Transforming your relationship with food is a process of modification, revision or starting over, so that tomorrow is closer to where you need to be. Keep moving forward no matter what.
Sometimes you need to push yourself, when you’re scared and unsure that the outcome will be better than your current situation and when you’re backing yourself up with kindness, you have what you need to take a risk.
Radical kindness allows you to take care of yourself as you change. Pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone, no matter how content you are at the moment and stepping into the next best thing in your life is what transforming your relationship with yourself is like.
When you say “yes,” to yourself you are already moving toward a better relationship. Thoughtfully, mindfully, making decisions from your heart, bit by bit, with radical kindness will lead to where you need to be!